The Satire Desk

Reporting on institutions that do not exist, accurately.

Everything here is free to read and entirely made up. The drawings that go with it usually end up as posters, and the posters usually end up on a wall belonging to someone who understood the joke.

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An absurdist ink illustration of clown bureaucrats in a meeting

Lead storyInstitutions3 min read

Committee approves the form that authorizes forming the committee

After eleven months of deliberation, the Subcommittee on Deliberation has produced a document confirming it exists.

The document is four pages long. Three of those pages are the cover sheet, reprinted for consistency, and the fourth is a signature block that has been signed by a person who has since transferred to another department and cannot be reached for comment.

A spokesperson described the milestone as "a foundational step toward eventually beginning," then asked that the phrase be attributed to the committee rather than to any individual member.

Attendance records show that every member was present, that nobody spoke, and that the coffee was described in the minutes as "available." This is the second-longest entry in the minutes.

Culture2 min read

Museum guard reaches year three of protecting an empty frame

The painting was removed for restoration in a prior administration. The post was never reassigned. Neither was the guard.

Visitors regularly stop in front of the frame for longer than they stop in front of the paintings, which the museum's engagement report has quietly logged as a success.

The guard has developed a short talk about negative space that he did not prepare and cannot stop giving. It has been praised by two critics and one tour group of eighth graders who assumed it was intentional.

Management says the piece will be returned "once conditions allow." Nobody has asked which conditions.

Work4 min read

Court jester delivers Q3 results, is asked to circle back

The bells were on brand. The deck was not. Leadership requested a follow-up meeting to align on tone.

Slide four contained a joke. Slide five contained the same joke, larger, because a stakeholder had asked for emphasis. Slide six was a chart proving the joke had landed in two of five regions.

The jester was thanked for his energy, which is what a room says when it does not want to discuss the numbers.

A follow-up was scheduled to define what "funny" means for the organization. Attendance is optional and therefore mandatory.

Institutions3 min read

Annual parade of briefcases marches on, purpose unlocated

Attendance was strong, the route was efficient, and no one along the way could say what was being celebrated.

The parade begins at the loading dock and ends at a slightly different loading dock. It has done so annually since a memo, now lost, established the tradition as "provisional."

Balloons are provided by procurement. They are grey, because grey was the color available at volume, and because nobody wanted to be the person who requisitioned joy.

Spectators clapped when the marching stopped, which the organizers recorded as enthusiasm for the marching.

Liked the joke enough to hang it?

Most of these drawings exist as posters, prints and stickers.

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